I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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