this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
