so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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