apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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