But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize