I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
