you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
