it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
