I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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