Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
