They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
