you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
