Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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