Need sex. Gaining weight.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
