You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
