even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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