My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
