Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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