New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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