i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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