Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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