Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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