just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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