Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she smelled like a LAN party
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
