Nicole vs. Life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
jump out the window naked night went bad
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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