I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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