when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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