Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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