Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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