she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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