Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
