you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
