Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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