Got a toothbrush?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
