The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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