So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
