If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
