some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
