there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
