Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
