Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
soo... how was my night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
