I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize