K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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