One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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