I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Im just a social blackout drinker.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
