Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Randomize
