Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
