You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
