do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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