i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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