$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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