We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
