I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize