PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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