are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
