hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
