Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
