Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
