And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
