Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
