separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize