Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
