My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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