For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
