He is an equal opportunity slut.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
