You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
