He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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