I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
